


Paradise motion

by leejenowo



Series: Ships that should sail [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, jh also loves ty, kind of implicit mention of sexual intercourse?, umm ty and yt love each other i guess, wtf am i tagging lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 04:17:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15016496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leejenowo/pseuds/leejenowo
Summary: But you're standing we're I'm not





	1. I. California

**Author's Note:**

> Heavily inspired by the work of the amazing Charlotte Cardin. Each chapter is named after a different song and I will make sure to link each one so you can listen to them as you read.
> 
> This is really short by the way!
> 
> [California](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCFbLq_qqNk) by Charlotte Cardin

Everything was too much for Yuta right now. The music was too loud, there were too many people, the alcohol was too bitter, the pressure behind his eyes was too painful. But nothing hurt as much as seeing Taeyong dance with his new boyfriend under the strobing lights.

Johnny had convinced him to come to the party, saying it would be a good occasion to change his mind, but Johnny was a mutual friend of Taeyong and him so of course, he would invite Taeyong too. It wasn’t his fault if they broke up. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Yuta couldn’t even blame himself for it.

It’s something that had just happened naturally, just like how they fell in love. But they had not fallen out of love. Yuta still loved Taeyong, a lot. Somehow the distance between them had gotten so big, it was like they were both living miles away when in reality they were sitting next to each other. It felt like a whole ocean was separating them and they were standing on different sides. 

They didn’t know how or why or when. They just knew it happened and, suddenly, there was no going back. 

Yuta was sad on his shore. His side of the ocean was agitated, dark clouds forming over the water. Yuta wasn’t standing on a white sand beach and translucent water that let him see the bottom of the ocean. He had a clear view of a stormy body of water, waves crashing constantly against the ragged rocks and occasionally lapping at his feet. The bottom of the sea was blurred and Yuta didn’t dare venture out further than where he could see. He had no lifeline left. Taeyong was nowhere to be seen.

Taeyong was standing where he was not. Probably on the beach with his new boyfriend, Jaehyun, enjoying the warm sun.

Taeyong was dancing with Jaehyun. Where Yuta used to stand behind with both hands around Taeyong’s body, his small arms reaching back to wrap around Yuta’s neck, bodies pressed together. But now it was Jaehyun who had Taeyong’s arms wrapped around his neck. And it was Jaehyun that was leaning down to press his lips behind Taeyong’s ear, the same spot Yuta used to kiss because he loved how the boy would shiver under his touch.

But Yuta wasn’t the one holding him anymore. All he had in his hands was that stupid red cup he had been handed when he had first entered Johnny’s house. It was filled with alcohol, but he didn’t know which because he was drinking it so quickly the burning feeling didn’t even have time to settle at the back of his throat. Yuta wasn’t a lightweight, but at the time he wished he was if it meant he could forget the image of Taeyong and Jaehyun dancing together under the flashing light. 

Yuta ended up walking into the kitchen and emptying the amber liquor in the sink, opting for a different drink instead. Maybe alcohol wasn’t the best option for him tonight and he didn’t want to do anything he would regret if he does end up drinking too much. Not that he wouldn’t regret staying mostly sober and hurting over his ex, but it was still better than whatever else he could possibly do. 

He abandoned his cup somewhere on the counter, guilt trying to make its way into his head as he thought about how much cleaning Johnny and his boyfriend would have to do in the morning, but he couldn’t possibly care enough to throw the cup away in the bin. He was more preoccupied with Taeyong and Jaehyun who had migrated from the dance floor (the middle of Johnny’s living room) to one corner of the room. The area was really badly lit because apparently Johnny and Taeil invested more in alcohol than in party decorations, including lighting. All they had was a strobe light that was really annoyingly bright, some multi-color shifting lights and Yuta was pretty sure Johnny had climbed up a stool earlier to twist in some green light bulbs in the living room light, but they weren’t on at the moment. Oh, and a disco ball that was mirroring on every wall, including the one where Jaehyun was making out with Yuta’s ex-boyfriend.

Yuta watched as Jaehyun’s hands snaked around Taeyong’s tiny waist, just like how he used to do. He kept watching as his hands disappeared under Taeyong’s oversized (probably Jaehyun’s, Yuta thought) white dressed shirt. And he didn’t look away when Taeyong apparently melted under Jaehyun’s touches and he had to hold him up against the wall with a leg between his thighs. Yuta watched all of it when they kissed. His eyes trailed down to Taeyong’s neck, following Jaehyun’s mouth. Taeyong was wearing the choker Yuta had offered him last Christmas and if that wasn’t enough to make Yuta look away, Taeyong’s next move was.

Yuta turned away when Taeyong detached himself from the wall and took Jaehyun’s hand in his, tugging him along towards the hallway until they disappeared in one Johnny’s guest rooms.

Yuta and Taeyong would often hide away in rooms too. The last time they were together in one was also the last time Yuta had kissed him, marked him, loved him. And the next morning, Taeyong was gone. Gone for good. 

Yuta missed Taeyong. He missed his skin, his touch, his lips. He missed his love.

But Taeyong was standing somewhere Yuta was not.


	2. II. Main Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now I'm just a pretty face who can help you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jaehyun's point of view this time ;)
> 
> [Main girl](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Xef2NPzGp0) by Charlotte Cardin

Jaehyun wasn’t dumb. This was Johnny’s party and he just knew Yuta was somewhere in the crowd. Was Taeyong going to look for him or would he avoid him? Would Yuta look for Taeyong?

Jaehyun had no idea what had happened between the two. He just knew one day they were together and the other they weren’t. And he was honored to be the one Taeyong called first after the breakup. It was then that Jaehyun realized there was something between them. He knew where everything was probably going to lead them when he had agreed to help Taeyong. He knew there was no point in refusing Taeyong’s advances even when he was drunk and didn’t know what he was talking about.

But Jaehyun wasn’t taking advantage of him. He never went too far with Taeyong when he was too out of it and kept mumbling about Yuta. He didn’t want to wake up next to a confused Taeyong who would tell him how the nights they spent together were just a mistake and they shouldn’t do whatever it was they were doing together anymore. Instead, Jaehyun took his time to console him and they slept together for the first time only when Taeyong was able to consent. Taking advantage of Taeyong’s vulnerability wasn’t an option for Jaehyun.

But still, he wasn’t dumb. He knew Taeyong calling him in the middle of the night one day was too good to be true. He knew it was foolish of him to think everything would work out, but he let himself be fooled.

When Taeyong called him the first time, he didn’t think twice. He went to him, was attracted to him. They had laid beside each other, spent from their activities, and when Taeyong had left him the next morning, Jaehyun found himself checking his phone multiple times to see when Taeyong would text him next.

The time after that, Jaehyun didn’t think much of it when Taeyong came to him drunk, babbling about how he missed Yuta. He didn’t care about Yuta because he had Taeyong. And the sex that night was still great.

When Taeyong called him to invite him to Johnny’s party, he was blinded by whatever he was feeling for the man and accepted. When he was picked up by Taeyong, he noticed how he was wearing his shirt that was obviously way too big on the tiny frame, but it wasn’t hard to miss the diamond choker adorning his neck. A choker someone else, Yuta, had gifted him. On the neck Jaehyun had spent so many nights kissing and licking and biting. 

He wasn’t sure what this whole relationship was about. He was scared that if he was to ask Taeyong, everything would be ruined. So Jaehyun settled for an unknown agreement with him. Taeyong was good to him. He was a good listener when he wasn’t doing all the talking, but that was something Jaehyun didn’t mind. It wasn’t long until Jaehyun realized he was in love with the man. He wasn’t sure if he was projecting his feelings on Taeyong simply because of the nature of their relationship (which was mostly based on sex) or if he was actually in love with the boy, his personality, his good side and his bad side. Jaehyun was scared that it was just some fleeting infatuation that would soon pass.

But he didn’t think much of it when they were at the party and Taeyong was feeling him up while they were dancing. He didn’t think much of it when Taeyong let him kiss his neck like he would when they were alone. And he certainly didn’t think much of it when Taeyong dragged him to an empty room.

But once they were inside the room, Taeyong was the one to take control. Jaehyun as pushed on the bed and the boy climbed on top of him, pressing every inch of their bodies together in desperation. Jaehyun couldn’t recall the last time Taeyong was that quick to undress and they soon found each other in only their underwear. Jaehyun wasn’t complaining as he circled his arms around Taeyong’s waist and turned them around, pushing the smaller boy under him. Jaehyun’s mouth made its way down to the sensitive skin of Taeyong’s neck and then to his collarbones. The smaller boy was whining under him and Jaehyun would be lying if he said he didn’t like hearing him.

That was until Taeyong moaned a name that wasn’t his. Jaehyun was a fool to think that he had managed to help Taeyong get his shit together after Yuta. He misunderstood him. Taeyong thought Jaehyun was just there to help him get over Yuta. And Jaehyun was foolish enough to fall in love. He should have known. He was just the first pretty face Taeyong found to replace Yuta’s spot in his life. Apparently, Taeyong’s world never resolved around Jaehyun like he thought it did. He was just an easy exit for Taeyong to get over Yuta. Jaehyun really played himself on that one and he couldn’t really blame Taeyong for thinking he wasn’t serious. But he was still hurt.

So Jaehyun got up and left, not turning back when Taeyong called him one last time. 

It was 4 and Jaehyun wasn’t there anymore. He wouldn’t be there anymore.

Taeyong was alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol this is the closest you'll ever get to smut because i'm just a big fat lesbian 
> 
> My [twitter](https://twitter.com/leejenowo?lang=fr) [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/leejenowo)


	3. III.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Les échardes que l'on s'arrache

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe everything will be okay?
> 
> [Les échardes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbMeXghMYpI) by Charlotte Cardin
> 
> This one is in french sorry.. if anyone doesn't understand french oof!

It wasn’t long before Yuta noticed Jaehyun leaving the room where he had secluded himself with Taeyong. He noticed how his hair was going in different direction and how his shirt was untucked. He had left the room in a haste, his physical state made it clear.

The biggest hint was the scowl on his face, his mouth pinched in a grimace. Clearly, something had happened between Jaehyun and Taeyong and Yuta was curious.

Before he could register it, his feet led him straight to the door of the room where Taeyong was. Without thinking twice, he pushed it open silently.

Yuta was careful to not make any sound when he entered the room, but somehow, his ex-lover noticed him. When Taeyong turned on the bed, Yuta saw him in the dimmed light of the room, the moon being the only source of luminosity. He was laying there, in his boxer, looking at Yuta, and it was a scene the Japanese man had witnessed so many times in the past when he would come out of the bathroom to find his boyfriend waiting for him.

But his boyfriend’s once expecting eyes were now filled with tears, and he wasn’t his boyfriend anymore. Yuta shouldn’t be feeling this way about the man who had left him unexpectedly, but he couldn’t help it. As he carefully made his way to the bed, he watched the tears that were once contained behind Taeyong’s heavy eyelids slip down his face.

The tears doubled when Yuta embraced the small man in his arms, but he didn’t really care. He was whispering small things in his ear, things that he used to say and things that he never said. He was gently rocking Taeyong in his arms, his face hidden in his neck. The tears were rolling down on Yuta’s skin and it was starting to get itchy, but he couldn’t find it in himself to push Taeyong away and wipe his tears. Taeyong didn’t really deserve to have his tears dried down after all he did to Yuta. Yuta didn’t have anyone to dry his tears when he cried alone at night, in the bed he used to share with Taeyong. Taeyong himself wasn’t drying his tears because he really had it coming. Jaehyun was the one who used to dry his tears when he was crying over Yuta, but he had used him. And that was something he couldn’t do anymore. If Yuta did this right, it would pass. Yuta told Taeyong what if felt like when he woke up alone one day. He told him how much time it took him to try to get over him. He told him how the waves crashing at his shore just seemed to gain in force when he saw Taeyong with Jaehyun that night. He told him how his ocean suddenly looked calmer when he saw Jaehyun leave the room looking so off.

They were things Taeyong needed to hear. Maybe Yuta wasn’t choosing the best time to do it or the best way, but it had to be done.

The both of them still didn’t understand what had happened, because looking at them now, everything seemed fine. At one point, they had both forgotten who they were. They had tried too hard to find things in common. They had tried too hard to be people they were not because they weren’t sure who the other loved. 

But maybe it was just a game and Yuta had finally learned the rules and played correctly. Maybe this time would be different. They had let themselves wither away under each other’s gaze without explanation. And Yuta wouldn’t let it happen again.

But now Taeyong knew and it was like a painful splinter was now taken out of Yuta’s heart. Yuta didn’t know if Taeyong had that same splinter hurting him, but it was ok. He was still crying in his arms, silently hiccupping at each words Yuta told him.

But everything was ok.

Because Yuta was there now and Taeyong wasn’t alone anymore. He wouldn’t be alone anymore.

Yuta was kissing Taeyong slowly and carefully, on his forehead, on his eyelids, on his cheeks, on his nose and, finally, on his lips. It was like it used to, like nothing had really changed between them.

Their waves were crashing against each other’s until everything was calmer.

Because Yuta loved Taeyong.

Because Yuta would always love Taeyong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blep   
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/leejenowo?lang=fr)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/leejenowo)


	4. BONUS. Faufile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tout ce que j'aime, je brise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus chapter of what could have happened... You can choose the ending you prefer.. either the fluff or the angst (?)
> 
> [Faufile](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j8DVTkZdCE) by Charlotte Cardin
> 
> Once again in french... uwu sorry she's the only french speaking artist i actually enjoy soooooo

Yuta was careful to not make any sound when he entered the room, but somehow, Taeyong noticed him. When he turned on the bed, Yuta saw him in the dimmed light of the room, the moon being the only source of luminosity. He was laying there, in his boxer, looking at Yuta, and it was a scene the Korean male had witnessed so many times in the past when he was waiting for Yuta to come out of the bathroom, lazing around on the bed.

But his boyfriend’s once amused eyes were now filled with silent sorrow, and he wasn’t his boyfriend anymore. Taeyong shouldn’t be feeling this way about the man who he had left so unexpectedly, but he couldn’t help it. He watched Yuta made his way towards him carefully, feeling the tears that were once contained behind his heavy eyelids slip down his face.

The tears doubled when Yuta embraced him in his arms, but he didn’t really care. He was whispering small things in his ear, things that he used to say and things that he never said. He was gently rocking Taeyong in his arms, his face hidden in his neck. The tears were rolling down on Yuta’s skin and it was starting to get uncomfortable, but he couldn’t find it in himself to push his body away and wipe his own tears. And he couldn’t expect Yuta to do it for him. Taeyong didn’t really deserve to have his tears dried down after all he did to Yuta. Yuta didn’t have anyone to dry his tears. Jaehyun was the one who used to dry his tears when he was crying over Yuta, but he had used him. And that was something he couldn’t do anymore. He wanted to do this right. Yuta told Taeyong what if felt like when he woke up alone one day. He told him how much time it took him to try to get over him. He told him how the waves crashing at his shore just seemed to gain in force when he saw him with Jaehyun that night. He told him how his ocean suddenly looked calmer when he saw Jaehyun leave the room looking so off.

Taeyong couldn’t tell him how his own ocean was so stormy he could barely see his next step. He couldn’t tell him how he wanted Yuta to hold him and take him away. He couldn’t tell him how dark it was.

They were things Taeyong needed to hear. Maybe Yuta wasn’t choosing the best time to do it or the best way, but it had to be done.

The both of them still didn’t understand what had happened to them, because looking at them now, everything seemed fine. At one point, they had both forgotten who they were. They had tried too hard to find things in common. They had tried too hard to be people they were not because they weren’t sure who the other loved. 

But maybe it was just a game that Taeyong still didn’t know how to play. He wasn’t sure this time would be different. They had let themselves wither away under each other’s gaze without explanation. And Taeyong wasn’t sure how to not let it happen again.

But now Taeyong knew and it was like a painful splinter was stabbed into his heart. His wound was starting to bleed again and somehow, Yuta wasn’t able to stop it. No one was.

They took the time to kiss each other that night. Slowly and carefully, like it was the last time. Yuta kissed him on his forehead, on his eyelids, on his cheeks, on his nose and, finally, on his lips. It wasn’t like it used to, everything had changed between them.

Their waves were crashing against each other’s until Taeyong was alone. He had broken Yuta.

Because Yuta had slipped away.

Because Taeyong had let him slip away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know the drill lol  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/leejenowo?lang=fr)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/leejenowo)

**Author's Note:**

> I moved [Twitter](https://twitter.com/leejenowo?lang=fr) account haha and here's my curiouscat [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/leejenowo)


End file.
